And another thing

I am always incredibly dismayed at how goddamn expensive camping is. Like, by the time you gas up the ride and purchase even modest provisions (we’re having hot dogs and PB&J all weekend), it’s still like $200. We went to Lowes to purchase pre-bagged firewood last night, and I think it kind of killed a little bit of the native Montanan’s soul. I believe his exact quote was “I feel like a white suburban pussy”. Fine then! Let’s see you get your ass out there and chop down a tree, Paul Bunyan!

Random Saturday morning thoughts (yes, I know it’s Friday, and you’ll only have to tell me that like 15 more times)

  • Supposed to go camping today, and really regretting those last few drinks last night. But whatever, vacation.
  • This is the first job I’ve ever had where I get Good Friday off. As a non-religious person, I honestly feel kinda weird about it. Like,….. why? I don’t personally choose to believe that some crusty hippie was nailed to a cross on THIS EXACT day, so, yeah. To this day, the date that Easter falls on is based upon the spring lunar calendar. Did you know that? So yeah. It’s a reformatted “pagan” holiday, through and through. Don’t tell my die-hard Southern Baptist mother I said any of that. It’s easier that way.
  • I have decided that the best way to describe my own personal brand of feminism is “not a click-bait feminist”. Like, you cant just throw “rape” into the subject/title or call everything “[blank]- shaming”. That’s not how it works.
  • Speaking of ridiculous trends, did y’all see that article about the school in Nebraska (of course!) that sent home some bullying-related newsletter, and one of the tips was like “make it a joke! if somebody says you’re ugly, say, ‘You should see my sister!”. Now. Let me preface this by saying that I think this whole “bullying” trend is bullshit. Kids are mean, they always have been, they always will be. Your kid is gonna get picked on and made fun of, and will probably also pick on and make fun of somebody else. It’s not always “bullying”. ANYWAY. That’s no reason to turn them all into 9-year-old versions of Shecky Greene.
  • I think I’ve developed kind of an Adam Scott obsession? In the last two weeks, I’ve watched Friends With Kids (feelings on that movie will be saved for another time), Bachelorette (twice, but half of that is due to my obsession with Lizzie Caplan’s bangs/hair/eyebrows/general face region), and tons of Parks and Rec. And he’s not really my type, at ALL. He’s way too skinny/hipster/nerdy. I’m kind of ashamed to say this, but if I had a “type”, it would be way more Channing Tatum-esque. My spouse has been told by more than one objective third party that he looks like a cross between Channing Tatum and Jerry O’Connell. But anyway! Adam Scott could probably get it, is my point.
  • I probably over-purchased booze for this outing, but, we’re going to Oklahoma, and they have some wack liquor laws. Better safe than sorry.

My topic for this month’s health and safety meeting is the side effects of sitting on your ass at a desk all day

I’m having trouble coming up with much beyond “you’ll get fat, and then you’ll die”.

Really regretting volunteering for this gig, y’all.

I have probably posted this video more than any other during my 6 years on Tumblr. Jheath, I hope you and Jude play this at your wedding.

I love the fact that the Australian prettyboys have M13 inmates in their video

Just, what?

This is a pop-punk-ska palate cleanser just for jheath. You’re welcome!

Right?? And the thing is, per a radio interview I heard, they insist that they are NOT a “boy band”. My ass. I will post a pop-punk palate cleanser momentarily.

Right?? And the thing is, per a radio interview I heard, they insist that they are NOT a “boy band”. My ass. I will post a pop-punk palate cleanser momentarily.

Everybody is already calling this the Song of the Summer, and whatever, that’s dumb, but, catchy tune + pretty children young enough to be my sons = me dancing shamefully

Florence Welch’s voice will never not slay me

She’s amazing

ETA: Even live, especially live, her voice is astounding

Okay but for reals, here’s what I’m telling my kids (in Bob Saget’s voice)

2005: She take my money

2007: I could be your Black Kate Moss tonight

2009: He lost his soul to a woman so heartless

2010: Now I’m bout to make they tuck they whole summer in [NB: Senator Ansari makes a cameo in this video]

2013: And then he fucked some ho on top of a motorcycle, and died, the end

AND THAT’S HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER